When I was in first grade, he took me shopping for new school clothes — which was huge because, as the youngest of six kids, I lived in hand-me-downs.
He bought me a little navy blue, polka dot dress with a Peter Pan collar and red alphabet buttons. But, on picture day, I lost one of the buttons on the playground. I had a total meltdown because my brother spent his own money to make sure I had this new dress and I ruined it. I was a mess, totally inconsolable.
My teacher was also the mom of one of my brother’s best friends. She told him, and he, my brother and the entire football team searched the playground after practice for my lost button. Which they actually found.
My brother sewed the button back on himself in the carall while trying to explain that he wouldn’t have been mad even if I did lose it.
It was just a button and a dress.
But I did have one of those little red alphabet buttons sewn into my wedding dress.
Audio transcript : Hamster balls are like so dangerous for small animals. You know why? Because like, they can’t extend their back properly, so their back is like thi– (cuts off abruptly as the creature in the hamster ball is revealed to be a crab; pauses. The following is said with an affectionate tone like one uses when speaking of a cute animal:) Well, he can’t break his spine ‘cause he don’t have a spine.
Must a series be “good”. Is it not enough for there to be a fucked up little bastard teenage CEO yelling with complete sincerity at his haunted classmate about defeating God in a children’s cardgame tournament
hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit
Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids’ movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn’t get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.
He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned “hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality” summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk (“so he seems nice? He’s what, in his late twenties?”) and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.
Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha’s fake wife and dressing up in ladies’ clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress’ “bless you for coming out in public” remark when Pacha says they’re on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don’t see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.
In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.
So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.
In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.
Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:
holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit
I love just how blatant and embarrassingly obvious Darcy’s affection for Elizabeth is on your second watch through of p&p 2005. I love him describing an accomplished woman as someone who “must improve her mind by extensive reading” and immediately eyeing Elizabeth with her book. I love him asking Elizabeth to dance at the Netherfield ball when, at the previous ball, Elizabeth had told him that dancing was the best way to encourage affection. I love piecing together the shots and realizing that Darcy is almost always looking in her direction. I love realizing the reason Darcy is walking through the crowd at the Netherfield Ball is because he’s searching for Elizabeth. I love him coming over to hear Elizabeth play piano and I love him telling her that he has trouble conversing easily with people he’s just met and knowing he’s attempting to be open and vulnerable with her.
His first proposal is so jarring and unexpected for Elizabeth but damn girl this idiot has been openly pining after you this whole time
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